Repayment

Tell me what I’ve lost.
All the times I’ve screwed up.
Countless shattered promises.
How much is there to lose?

If we were to rewind.
Would you compromise?
If I were to get down on knees.
Would it soften your broken heart?

To merely say ‘I’m sorry’.
It seems so meaningless.
What more can I say.
For all the forgiveness that I need.

How many ways can one apologize?
When will it all be forgotten?
Where will I be able to replace.
All pieces I’ve managed to break.

Can repentance truly be enough?
Will you be able to accept?
After all the horrors I’ve committed.
You would forgive all?

I should be banished.
Tossed out the back door.
Forgotten and dismissed.
Like I never even existed.

You cannot mean to forgive.
Such a wretched, foolish heart.
I have caused so much pain.
Where is the punishment for my crimes?

Handcuff me.
Toss me in a cell.
Let darkness swallow me whole.
Maybe then I will feel less guilty.

You would wipe away sins?
Make me whole again?
Let me have a second chance?
It seems like something from a dream.

Me.
A lowly servant.
Stand beside you?
King of creation itself.

You would wipe away tears.
Heal pain and sorrows.
Listen to my every word.
Love me through it all.

The repayment is un-payable.
Compensation unfathomable.
How am I to return all you’ve done.
Except through love and faithfulness.

Copyright 2010 Lauren Hall ©

Painful memories

On the brink of consciousness.
Light filtered through eyelids.
Squinting as you come back.
Back to the world of the misfortunate.

Luminescence dances across the floor.
Making its way through darkened spaces.
Crowding out the shadows.
Prowling around the edges.

Sleepiness hazes vision.
Groggy while becoming cognizant.
Reality taking over fiction.
While hopelessness finds its way back.

These darkened doors.
Hold too many memories.
This old cottage.
Contained so much happiness.

All has faded away.
Vanished from sight and sound.
Leaving instead misery.
Of what once was.

Far from civilization.
None to pry these memories.
None to glimpse,
The sorrows left behind.

Staring through painted glass.
The sense of loss far too great.
Too great to hold back tears.
Which soon turn into weeping.

Who is there to comfort?
Who can wipe away these tears?
How can happiness be replaced?
Amongst so much pain.

Life moves on its way.
Leaving behind its mark.
Light shimmers through the crevices.
A heart slowly begins to heal.

Copyright 2010 Lauren Hall ©

Don't ever stop dancing

Don't ever stop dancing.

Keep those dreams in site.
Keep up the good fight.

Don't ever stop dancing.

Let love lead your way.
Allow it to spread through works.

Don't ever stop dancing

Laugh at the old black train.
Laugh as it passes on by.

Don't ever stop dancing.

Forget about worry.
It is a useless emotion.

Don't ever stop dancing.

Don't be shy, do a jig.
Make those around you laugh.

Don't ever stop dancing.

Make that leap.
Take a chance.

Don't ever stop dancing.

Hold those you love close.
Never let them go.

Don’t ever stop dancing.

Dance until there is nothing left.
Dance until you're out of breath.

Don't ever stop dancing.

Cry when it is needed.
Let the tears flow free.

Don't ever stop dancing.

Keep those feet moving.
Bound over every little bump.

Don't ever stop dancing.

Sometimes,
That's all you've got.

Copyright 2010 Lauren Hall ©
Don't ever stop.

If I, would you

If I climbed the highest mountain,
To see creation better.

Would you do the same?

If I crossed over oceans,
For the sake of adventure.

Would you come as well?

If I laughed hysterically,
At the stupidest of jokes.

Would you laugh too?

If I became withdrawn,
Thoughtful and quiet.

Would you sit beside me in silence?

If I cried a river,
At the drop of a hat.

Would you question or comfort?

Teardrops fall from saddened skies.
Laughter rumbles from the earth’s belly.
I can’t help but be awed.
By your loving, endearing nature.

If I were to leap off a bridge,
Slicing through the cool water below.

Would you tell me I’m crazy?

If I stood outside in the rain,
Just to feel it on my face.

Would you tell me I have no sense?

If I were to fall on my face,
And then laugh at myself.

Would you look at me with shock?

If I crinkle my nose,
At the smell of cilantro.

Would you look at me and say, “Your weird.”?

If I ask to help you,
Solve a problem.

Would you accept it?

Teardrops fall from saddened skies.
Laughter rumbles from the earth’s belly.
I can’t help but be awed.
By your quiet, and thoughtful nature.

If I told you I wasn’t ready,
For a more serious friendship.

Would you nod and say, “Ok.”?

If I wanted to take a drive,
Just to feel the wind.

Would you comply and ride along?

If I told you,
That you make me feel special.

Would you keep making me feel special?

If I had a problem,
That I was struggling with.

Would you help me pull through?

If my heart stopped,
Without you.

Would you…

Copyright 2010 Lauren Hall ©

Turned into

Tapered, drained and reduced to nothing.
Forgotten, dismissed and lost sight of.

My soul languishes with each passing moment.
My heart flourishes with affliction.

I have been tempered with fever.
Strained by heavy demands.

Being left rifted upon broken glass.
Torn apart from within.

Having been left for those already expired.
Cold lingers around each bend.

Tormented by nightly fiction.
Puzzled as to reality.

Time passes unhurriedly by.
Enhancing each prick to torture.

Waiting as to the final verdict.
Curiosity no longer playing part.

Lightlessness has vanished away.
Shadows having become invisible.

The dark magnifies each pain.
Every noise made all the louder.

Strength has evaporated through the crevices.
The will to live on has been lost.

Obscured vision of any beauty.
Seeing the world as distasteful.

Cringing with each laugh.
Withdrawing at every smile.

Unable to hold down the words.
Vomiting up every one.

Love no longer appeals.
Rather looking upon with disdain.

Creation has lost another innocent.
Having been turned by the vicious.

Copyright 2010 Lauren Hall ©

Finding joy

I have found joy in life is merely based upon a persons mindset. You could have everything you could ever imagine in the world. Money, Cars, Sweethearts, Bling, Fancy houses and yes even family. Even with all these things a person who is determined to go through life in depression, will only find sorrow. If that same person were to lose everything they had, would it make them happy? Probably not. What is my point, well honestly, I have no clue.

Perhaps it is this, Find your joy in life. Life is way too short for depression. Take time to find a hobby, or maybe find time to spend with your family. What if you and your family don't get along? Well, find something that interests your whole family. Happiness in life is not based on chance, that is a lie. Happiness in life is based upon what you make of life.

Life is too short to go through without love. When I say love, I mean it in its fullest term. The love of family, the love of a friend and yes the love of your other half. No I do not mean the other side of your body. I hope we can all put aside stress, depression and even anger. Take the time to find our joy.