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Friday, December 26, 2014

The Weight of Dreams

I dream of the unknown.
Fight all the unseen things.
Mask my wants and hopes.
Yet I wonder why I'm never satisfied.

How can I fill this.
Ever growing insatiable appetite.
It weighs me down.
Burying me deep inside.

Like a rock I sink.
Not quit floating downwards.
Yet nor am I close to the surface.
I'm suspended in the air.

Opening my eyes I see.
My dreams are hanging above.
Slowly I reach out.
Knowing it's too far out of grasp.

Below I hear a groan.
Unable to see below me.
The water around grows cloudy.
Hazing the brightness above.

I begin to sink further.
Letting fear creep slowly in.
Everything is instantly forgotten.
In that moment...

There's just me.
Falling.
Ever slowly.
Down; Down

My body finds the floor.
Gracefully lying down.
There is no thought.
Down here, there is nothing.

Hope is safely above.
Dreams float carefree there.
Looking down on the unfortunate.
Waiting for the word.

Like a strangled noise.
It comes from below.
A gargled sound of a word.
Softly reaches above the surface.

Reaching out a hand.
Down it descends to the depths.
Finding the body beneath.
Gently wrapping in it's arms.

Hope is renewed as spring.
Dreams burn bright as summer.
Fear fades as the autumn.
Tears are frozen as winter.





Copyright 2014 Lauren Hall ©


Monday, June 30, 2014

Hurry Up and Wait

Wait.
They keep saying.
Just wait.
One day it'll happen.

One day seems forever.
Forever can happen in a day.
Though I know one day.
Is forever away.

Forever is far away.
Books make it seem so long.
Yet I know in reality.
It's but a breath.

Taking that breath.
In and out.
I know one day it'll stop.
What happens before then?

Before life slips away.
What happens between.
The beginning and end.
Life happens.

Life, so full of meaning.
Countless possibilities.
Yet one thing is sure.
You live.

Living is more then breathing.
More then forever.
So much more then "One day".
It's the little moments.
That make up life.

Forget about "Waiting".
No need to pause life.
Waiting for "The moment".
The moment is right now.
Just live



Copyright 2014 Lauren Hall ©




Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Overwhelemed by Words

It's a little overwhelming.
Sitting this far away.
You wouldn't know the impact.
Words have on the mass.

Thankful for the distance.
My, oh so readable face.
Forgot to mask my thoughts.
Every word there to read for all.

Thankful for the dimmed lights.
Saved from the fact.
That all eyes were trained on you.
Hidden behind the rows.

Set so far in the back.
I'm sure you didn't even notice.
That I was here at all.
I blend in so well.

The crowd reaches their feet.
Standing in ovation.
To the obvious talent.
Profound in every word.

Yet again I'm lost.
Sitting here in the crowd.
Clapping vigorously in approvement.
You bow and leave the stage.

You will never know.
How much your words meant.
To the likes of I.
A fan of Monty Python.




Copyright 2014 Lauren Hall ©

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

All Along

Am I here, or are you there?
Sitting on a cold hard floor.
Testing the limits of space.
The room seems to shrink.
As I sit here in the dark.
I wonder if a spark will ignite.
Balance out the darkness.
Thick like a hanging fog.
It settles around my body.
I want to reach out to you.
Though I fear rejection.
Would you move away?
I hold in my own lingering fear.
Yet it presses down.
Like a weight on my chest.
Not knowing if silence,
Or rejection is worse.
Would you hear me speak?
Would you listen to me?
I open my mouth.
Words refuse to come aloud.
So instead they scream inside.
They say, "I'm right here."
"Look this way, see me."
Yet I know this is pointless.
Who can be seen in such?
Darkness, as it crowds about.
I feel something against me.
Lifting my hand to see.
Panic sets inside of me.
Blind! I cannot see!
How can I possibly be seen.
If I cannot see myself?
Tears prick the corners.
"Don't leave me alone."
I think, but do not speak.
The floor grows even colder.
The dark becomes thicker.
A sob breaks the silence.
It was my own choked tears.
I can make a sound!
"Yah, I'm right here."
"Please save me from this."
"I've been lost for so long."
The courage to speak up.
Lightens the thickness that surrounds.
I hear a stillness inside of me.
As if telling me,
"I was here all along."
That I just needed find.
The courage to ask for help.
Light has found it's way.
Into this darkened space.
I've been rescued from this prison.
Warmth settles back inside.
I now have my voice again.
If only I knew.
He was there all along.


Copyright 2014 Lauren Hall ©

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Who's Bigger- Stress or Yahuwah?

The stress of every day life is no stranger to me. Up  until recently I would have never thought that possible. In the past, I couldn't understand how people would get so stressed over things they had no control over. I would say, "There's nothing you can do to change it, Yah will make it right we just have to have faith." How I'm having to eat my own words now. The ironic and funny thing is, that its money that we stress out about and I couldn't give a whoop about money. Although, when you owe somebody, its easy to let doubt and fear crawl in and worry you. When did I let money rule my life?

This is when my old self needs to come up and smack me in the face for a bit of a reality check. So here goes my old self....

Bills, and IOU's will always be there. There will always be another month where money gets tight and you struggle to make ends meet. So have no doubt that it will be there when you get back. We owe it to ourselves, for our sanity and overall health to not let it get to us. Yes, I know its easier said then done, but would you rather worry over this months rent or enjoy your family and friends? I don't know about you all, but I would rather have fun with the people I love. As long as we have faith in Yah, there is no reason for us to worry and stress over the little things in life. They may seem HUGE when you're faced with those fears, but when you take a step back those things are really small. Sadly, most people don't realize this until its too late. We let those "little things" get in our way of happiness and love. Until a loved one gets hurt or sick or even old age comes, then we realize that we wasted our life on petty stuff and didn't enjoy what was in front of us. Yahuwah says that if we are his people we will always have food and raiment. He never promised a roof over our head, so anything else we are given is a huge blessing. We miss that though, never appreciating the things we do have. We complain and grumble because we don't have the latest piece of technology or that we can't get a spouse to buy us flowers. Here's a sad reality, even the poorest people in our country are considered rich in a lot of other countries. So yes, money will be there tomorrow whether you have it or not, it's not ours to worry about. Who is your master? Yah....or money?  We have become a slave to our own greed, lust, stress, coveting and so many others. What's it going to take for us to come back to reality and enjoy and find happiness in what we do have? Will it be this post, or maybe something bad happens to you or even a loved one? What is it going to take for us to put our faith in our heavenly father and give the reins of stress and worry to him. We can do nothing ourselves but from the grace and mercy of Yah, through him all things are made possible.


I don't know if this helps anyone else who might stumble upon this post, but I know that made me feel a bit better. Sometimes we just need a little encouragement to realize that we're not alone in this world. That we don't have to carry the weight of the world, there are people and Yah...there to help you along.
May Yahuwah bless you all. 

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Our Company Business (CH Construction)

"Our company was established in 2003 and has been serving the Kansas City area since.  C & H Construction has built new homes, remodeled homes and high end residential decks and outdoor environments (decks and four season rooms designed by Outdoor Environments Inc).  Our company is based on quality construction and meeting our customers needs.  My husbands motto is, "Do all things as though you are doing them unto the Father in Heaven".  This motto has served us well.  Check our our website at www.chconstructionkc.com.  We are also on Pinterest, Facebook and Twitter." 

The Road Unmarked

Walk through the corridors of time.
Paths long since overused.
It holds the footprints of those.
Who walked long before you.

How many have there been?
What were their history? 
They must have walked long.
While on their own long journey.

Can we learn from the past?
Mistakes made in haste.
The ones made in consideration.
Will we repeat history?

The road is well worn.
Making it easy to follow.
To walk in previous footsteps.
No need to make our own.

Does it not make it all the more.
So easy to do the same.
Blatantly obvious mistakes.
Of those gone before?

The path unmarked.
Is not an easy one to follow.
It has burrs and thistles.
Uneven ground and holes unseen.

If you take the unmarked trail.
You'll fall and scrape your knee.
You might even get scratched.
Although you'll not be alone.

The ground will give way.
To beauteous valleys and mountains.
Flowing with rivers and hills.
Sights seen by none.

Take the path unknown.
To the place seen by none.
Find your peace and rest.
Make a journey of your life.

Copyright 2014 Lauren Hall ©

Friday, January 31, 2014

A Feeling Gone Cold

The sting bites at the very tips.
The tip of my toes.
My ears and my nose.
It bites unyielding at my fingertips.

The wind whips the branches.
Rustles the leaves on the ground.
Sways the half dead weeds and grass.
My hair escapes its tie.

Cold! To say this more then once.
Would not express the feeling.
To speak it in 10 languages.
Is unimaginable, unless felt.

Feel your body freeze.
To tell me, "It's only 'so' cold."
Matters not when your teeth.
Refuse to quit their chattering.

Ice settles around the edge.
Ponds are now frozen solid.
Stepping lightly on the ice.
A low moan is heard beneath.

Numbness is seeping in.
Cold has made it to the bone.
Joints begin to creak.
Time to find our way indoors.

Snow finds her way from the heavens.
Making its way to the ground.
They dance and sway in the wind.
Making the cold seem majestic.

For a moment you stare.
Lost in the pure beauty.
The cold is momentarily forgotten.
As you witness natures miracle.

Numb, frozen and stinging extremities.
All seems worth it for that one moment.
To see the world as beautiful.
You see it for the Creators eyes.

Copyright 2014 Lauren Hall ©


Thursday, January 2, 2014

Goodbye 2013...Hello 2014

Well! What can I say, it's a new year. Okay, okay....so I'm about a day late on that statement. That's about how this year has been running so far, late and tiring. I wonder if that's just because I'm getting old. Heh...just kidding.  I hope all of you had a nice end of the year and an even better beginning of one. As we always hope, that this year is better then the last.

I always say that I'm going to make the most of everything and have a good time and have fun. Never quite seems to turn out that way. Usually I get overloaded with things to do or when I do have time I'm wanting to vege out and relax. I have my work cut out for me come spring though. Sgt. Tank (my horse) is in serious need of training and he's going to get a reality check once the whether gets nice. Right now though, I am doing the lazy man's training.....building a bond/relationship with my horse. (yes, I made that term up "Lazy man's training") It takes me back to when I was first finishing off training my horse Bud. When I got him he knew "stop" and "go"....that was it. Oh yeah...and not to buck me off....but he still did occasionally. Tank knows absolutely nothing, he has no experience with things you would think he should and then he surprises me by being completely fine with others. >.> 
That's life for ya. My father's horse passed away two weeks ago, that was hard. Tank bonded with him really quick and is still mourning him. Whoever says animals don't feel, is ignorant. Tank, became quite the escape artist after Maverick passed away. Kept slipping under the electric fence and getting in the yard. Thank heavens he never got out on the highway, have had that happen before. Yah willing we'll be getting him a companion soon.

On to other news. My work is going pretty good. Same ol' same ol' I guess. I got bit pretty bad on the back a couple weeks back by one of the horses there. My boss hasn't allowed me in the stall since, NOT that I'm complaining. The horse has serious malicious tendencies. I'm just glad it was a bite (which still hurt!) and not a kick...he's a huuuge horse...could have easily sent me to the hospital. My boss just finished out the end of the year with a great show. Her prize horse has won a lot and is a star at almost all the shows around the US. I must say I am glad for her to be having a break before she gets back to showing =P Makes my job easier when she's home. It was a very sad beginning of the year. Yesterday at work, My bosses niece...her dog was hit by a car and killed while I was there. I felt so bad, having been there...I know the feeling of losing a beloved animal. He was a stray dog that showed up last year and the niece took him in. Sometimes almost like losing a person, to some people. I don't believe some people though. How can you hit an animal and just keeping going?? I'm obviously meaning like dogs and cats...not squirrels, although that is sad too. Are people just so desensitized that they don't care? What if it was their animal? I guarantee that would be distraught over that happening. So why can't we think about others?

Alright, I'm done with my rant. Recently I've been slacking on all my artsy stuff.  Haven't drawn or painted...I guess I did write a poem...but still not like normal. I have too many hobbies!! See, most people have 1 or 2 hobbies that they can devote their time to. Oh NO!...me...I have too many to count. I guess that is the ADD in me. I can't keep my attention on one thing for long. I have to keep moving and learning new things or I get bored. Maybe by the time I'm 80 I might have learned one language, mastered painting. Published a few books and finally gotten 1 client for ESMT. LOL Pitiful....I know.
This year!....I will change it this year. I will try and make a better year and actually accomplish a task.


......Or not


 ^_^



Take care all!