Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Attack of the chicken

So here I am, writing a blog from my iPod and let me tell you it is no easy task.
I had meant to write a blog yesterday, but in the progression of my ongoing day,
I decided that a nap sounded like a much better plan instead.
I was talking with some friends of mine the other night and the topic of chickens was brought up.
Now let me tell you, I have been living in the country since I was 5 years old and we have had chickens
just about as long, which wouldake it around 16 years now.
A person might ask, "You must really like chickens,huh?".
My simple answer to them would be, "Are you out your mind??? Chickens are the most vile, nasty, disgusting, distubing,
gross, filthy creatures on earth... With the exception pigs...and mice...but still atrocious animals none the less."
So there you have it, my distaste for chickens. I mean sure, I like to eat chicken, can't stand cooking with it only because
it means I have to touch the nasty filthiness of raw chicken.
Really, hasn't it ever made you wonder why you can so easily get ecoli from raw chicken?
After having raised, cleaned up after and butchering these vile things, it makes a whole lot of sense.
I am not writing this to sway your thinking to my side of the fence here, no, I am just merely trying make a point...
And hopefully in the process of making that point you might see it like I do.
Have you ever heard that a chicken can run around headless for around 5 minutes? If that isn't sign enough that chickens
are creatures from a different catagory, I don't know what is. Perhaps the catagory chickens should be in is, "Freak of nature."
If with my disgust of chickens, I still have quite a few funny stories from them.
When my brothers and I were 6,7 and 8, there was this one rooster who after being let out in the morning, would wait very patiently
at out front door till one of us kids would come outside. Upon coming outside... My mother would hear the horror filled shrills of us kids from outside and come rushing to the door to find us screaming and running around the yard with the rooster flapping his wings behind us.
It wasn't long after this occurance kept going on that one day, all three of rejoiced when we had Mr. Rooster for dinner.
Another story was much more recent. For the sake of not naming names or giving out too much information I will shorten the story.
It was early in the spring, morning had dawned, we had all welcomed in this morning with some yawns and coffee, with the exception of our guest, who was sleeping in our guest room. It was on this beautiful morning that two people plotted the revenge on one our young and mean roosters. (I was not one of these two. Just so ya know). As I meandered in our thus quiet filled house, that I soon heard gunshots near the back of our house. Alarmed I raced over to the four season room door only to find one of the plotters standing on the deck while the other plotter was chasing this rooster around the yard. (is it me or does these two stories sound completely opposite??)
So as I watching these antics of the plotters, I soon hear the door to the guest room open and our guest come out blurry eyed.
The confusion on his face was enough to make any person chuckle, then he asked "What the heck is going on?"
As I replied, "The "plotters" are taking revenge on the rooster."
He was now in the four season room when he saw one the plotters ce running around the side of the house chasing the rooster. It was then that our guest burst out into the most hysterical laughing at the sight of the antics.
I must say, looking back on the events of that morning, I do believe the situation could have been handled a little better.
I hope you have been entertained and remember, chickens are vile creatures.
I hope you have a great day, and pray chickens never rule the world.

3 comments:

  1. Funny how you bring this up on the first day we have to go take care of some chickens for some people....

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  2. Wow! :D. Strangely I'm almost sympathizing with the chickens even though I admit they are nasty, vile creatures. LOL

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  3. lol! That is the best blog post I have ever read that was written from an iPod (despite the fact that it is my only)!
    A friend of ours has some chickens, and another chickens and turkeys. They aren't THAT bad, but they both keep them in a high-walled pen.

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